Thursday, February 19, 2009

After Long Silence ...

I dislike introspective posts, but I need to get this off my chest. And I know some of you have been wondering ...

There are two main reasons why I haven't been blogging lately.

The simplest reason is that I had made a conscious decision to put more of my energy into work. I'm a software engineer and am fortunate to have a job I like. But as I said in January, looking over the past year, I have been slacking. The odd thing about my job is that the more you do, the more there is to do, so I've really been sucked into the vortex.

The second reason is that, back at the end of November, a really bad thing happened through my blogging: I hurt the person that I least wanted to hurt. No, I'm not talking about my wife E. Yes, I mean Tigs. Some of you know part of the story because I sought your advice at the time. I'm not going to hash over the details, but the situation was very painful for both of us and I still feel awful about hurting her. Anyway, there were several results, one of which was that I just didn't feel like blogging anymore.

Going forward, I do expect to return to making more regular posts. For now, here are a few quick updates on my situation.

  • I renewed my apartment lease until October.  Even E recognizes that we're not getting back together any time soon.
  • We're continuing counseling.   I know I haven't kept up the detailed reports, so just to summarize, our emphasis is not on fixing our marriage but on improving communication.  I, in particular, really need to work on acquiring a "voice" -- I wouldn't say I'm a timid person, but in certain situations it is very difficult for me to speak up for myself.
  • It may not surprise any of you, but three out my four kids are now seeing counselors too (their ages range from about 20 to about 27).
By the way, After Long Silence is a very good sci-fi book by one of my favorite authors, Sherri L. Tepper.

Sunday, February 15, 2009


This isn't exactly the sophisticated, philosophical update I've been writing in my head ...

I'm still living alone, away from my wife E. And have been successful -- so far -- in my resolution not to date while I resolve the future of my marriage. But this lack of a social life has finally, this lonesome Valentine's weekend, driven me to seek solace in porn. Porn!

I don't have a TV, but just use my laptop.

And can you guess what comes next?

Ewww!   Cum on the keyboard!

Surprised, disgusted, but I couldn't stop laughing. Gives a whole meaning to popping off the keys...